DoD Plan to Weaponize Water Bulls Raising Eyebrows

Quantico, VA – A controversial Marine Corps plan to field an experimental modification to the M-149 Water Trailer is causing rifts among senior leadership. The trailer, also known to many as a “Water Bull,” has long been a source of hydration for troops in the field. Recent operational requirements, however, have indicated that it might be time to make the trailers a harder target.

"We take so many steps to protect our chow, ammunition, and fuel. Yet water is the most important thing to our survival, so why aren't we doing more to protect it?" A senior spokesperson with Marine Corps Systems Command stated. "It's not just about adding the turret; the plan to overhaul our fleet of water trailers comes with an extensive, and scalable, armor package as well."

The updated trailer, as pictured above, will require only minimal changes from maintainers in the Fleet Marine Force. "Basically the gunner climbs into the hatch up top, where the water goes in, and positions himself accordingly to engage targets," a senior maintenance official described. "The water will help keep the gunner cool while suppressing enemy targets."

A recent study showed that overheating was a lead cause of "gunner fatigue," for Marines utilizing traditional gun turrets. The plan to partially submerge gunners is expected to reduce heat casualties by over 75%. Some leaders, however, are not convinced that its the best use of the water contained in the trailer. "It's disgusting. I'm not going to allow my Marines to drink out of a water bull that's had a dude swimming in it for hours at a time," a Marine commander commented. "It makes me sick to think that the Marine Corps is even entertaining the thought of implementing this."

Trial runs are currently being conducted at The Basic School in Quantico, VA.