Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Citing Lack of NFL Interest, Johnny Manziel to Join Marines

Austin, TX - Sources within the Marine Corps recruiting community, as well as close friends to Johnny Manziel, have anonymously confirmed the former football star's desire to forego his NFL free agency in search of a career in the Armed Forces.

This wouldn't be the first time that a professional athlete has walked away from the limelight to pursue a military career. In 2015, Yankees Pitcher CC Sabathia was mandated by the team to join up, "or else." While unusual, it does represent a modern trend of celebrities willing to sacrifice fame and fortune in pursuit of a nobler cause.

"I think it's a great way to represent Texas and specifically A&M" stated Texas A&M alumnus and self proclaimed Johnny "Football" superfan Thomas Oattoter. The superfan additionally ensured to remind the reporter of his A&M ring every thirty seconds.

Sources close to Johnny think it represents a step in the right direction for him.

"I think he's really growing up. I'm excited to see him knock this one out of the park. He'll probably end up being the Platoon Guide since he went to A&M and all," a friend stated.

Even Johnny Football himself was supposedly quoted as saying "I don't give a shit if I'm tossing rocks on the field or sending hot rounds into taleban heads. I just want to get back in the action."

With summer boot camp dates quickly filling up, the former QB will have to score at least eight pullups on the Physical Fitness Test. His last practice PFT indicated he was currently at three pullups.


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